Earlier this week I sent out an email to my subscribers and I had a lot of questions from readers.  These were the sweetest questions and they didn't want to publicly ask.

So here is the very personal update to let you know that all is good.

This is probably the hardest blog post I have ever written.  But I want to be completely honest and open with you all.  Here we go…

I decided that 2016 was going to be the year I felt good.  That is it in a nutshell.  For the past decade I have battled daily headaches and weekly migraines.  My sleep was terrible.  I felt awful all the time.  When I have done videos in the past, I would do them and then have to go lay down.  I have kept this very private as who wants to hear my problems.  We all have them, these were just mine.

I wasn't even 40!  Yet I had a cardiologist, two neurologists, and tried every treatment under the sun for headaches and general overwhelming fatigue.  I was told that the fatigue would stay with me forever.  There was never anything in my blood work, my ct scans, my numerous sleep studies, nothing!

So I was always tired and felt like crap.  Yet we need me to work to provide income to our family.

I didn't want to try more pills, I didn't want to have surgery.  And I have battled my weight my entire life.  But never had it affect me the way it was at this point.

Last February was when I decided I was done.  I was so done and I was ready to really listen to my body and what it wanted and needed.

The first step was the hardest.  And that was to rid myself of sugar.  And I went cold turkey.  It has been almost a year since I have had a Dr. Pepper.  I used to drink at least one a day.  Bad carbs were next, but I started it all at the same time.  There weren't tears.  I was prepared for tears, meltdowns and total frustration.  Instead, I went with solid determination.  If I did this for a few months and didn't feel better, I would buy myself a case of Dr. Pepper to drink with a pound of pasta 🙂

At the end of the first week, I had a day without a headache.  Let's pause on that.  For over 3000 days straight I have had a headache.  OMG.  Can you imagine what that day was like without a headache?  I was bouncing off the walls.  You would not have wanted to be around me – I would have annoyed the snot out of you!

I started sleeping better and better.  I would wake up and feel like I had slept.  This was also life changing.

When you feel so bad for so long, then feel great, it is easy to keep the momentum going.

While this journey has included over 60 lbs of weight loss, the goal the entire time has been to feel good.

Several of my readers have asked me privately if I am sick.  And thank you so very much for your concern.  I am not sick… anymore.  I feel like I was though for years.

I am not done yet.  I still don't eat sugar (except at the holidays I did and I felt so miserable!!!)  Sugar is in practically everything, EVERYTHING.  I don't eat refined carbs and don't miss them.  When we were in Italy this past May on the Stampin' Up! trip I ate a lot of pasta and probably ate my weight in pizza, I felt sick at my stomach if it had refined carbs.  But most of the time, I felt pretty good.  I started researching the different flours in Italy and learned a lot – I really want to move there!  After that, I began introducing one new food a day.  How did I feel after I ate it?  Did it make me sick?  Did it cause me to gain weight?  (I had to break up with carrots in case you are wondering.  My body just doesn't like them.)

If anyone had asked me a year ago if what I was eating was causing me to feel the way I did, I would have said no.  We felt like we ate a healthy diet, lots of fresh veggies and such.  But I can tell you with 100% certainty that the way I felt was unquestionably due to what I was eating.

Matt and Emily have been the driving force and have provided the most loving support you could imagine.  They have been my cheerleaders, my shoulders to lean on when trying to avoid popcorn at the movie theater, to walking out of a restaurant that had nothing I could eat without feeling awful and everything in between.

Several of you have commented that I now look happy in my videos.  And that has caused to me to tear up more than once.  It was very hard to put myself on camera being 90lbs overweight (WOW, I really just said that!), but I felt like I needed to to try to connect with my viewers.

And connecting we have!

It was still hard to make videos these past few months because all the fears were flooding around me.  What if I gained it all back?  What then?  As a yo-yo dieter of over 25 years, that is a real fear.

In September I took stock of my time from February til then.  I created a side by side image of myself from before and that day.  It is an image that literally brought me to my knees.

The next step was to my image on my Facebook page.  It took me over 10 minutes before I could hit the save button.  Once I hit that, it was real.  Very real.  Scary real.  Intimidating real.

I was still afraid to publicly address it, cuz there is nothing like a new believer and someone who has lost weight to drive you batty, right?

This side by side image of me is so hard to share.  It is just me, but good grief – it's like seeing something in print, it's real.  It's there.

Ugh… here it is…  these are all images from videos of me.

After the emails I rec'd these past few weeks, it is time to not be timid, to be proud and excited.  I have learned what I never thought was possible.  To really listen to my body.

A member of Stamping Family recently commented that I am more relaxed in my videos now.  Another said she never knew I was funny before.

I feel good.  I feel really good.  I feel proud.  I feel excited.  I feel happy.  I feel loved.   From all of you leaving me encouraging words to those that were really concerned about me and asking if I am ok – Thank YOU!  I don't want anyone to worry about me.  I am good and healthy!  Thank you for allowing me to share this very personal thing with you!